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Indiscretions

by Lance Le Grys

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1.
you know I asked you first of all if you were free you just smiled and stood right up to dance with me now I find that I've been used I never had a chance to lose and I'm just the other man to you you said that you were through with him but when the first chance came you went right back again you left me standing like a fool you done just what you needed to and I'm just the other man to you I guess I'll go home holding my own hand again I thought with you that these lonely days might end but to bring him back to you I guess you thought that I would do and I'm just the other man to you you know I asked you first of all if you were free you just smiled and stood right up to dance with me you left me standing like a fool you done just what you needed to and I'm just the other man to you
2.
she said thank you quite much I really am touched but I'm afraid my hand is held you see I'm seeing a man I don't think he'd understand I think you know what I'm trying to say it's a sweet proposition but you see my position it's not your face or your feet maybe sometime our hands will entwine but for now I'm afraid you've been beat he's walking in Limbo he's walking in Limbo he can see heaven but he can't touch the gate and angel came down and said I'm afraid you must wait now he's walking in Limbo and he's all alone he just stepped away stored her answer away looked down and gave a sigh now he just sits alone in a room with no phone what use is it anyway now that he's walking in Limbo he's walking in Limbo he can't go forward and he won't go back he can't bring himself to another track now he's walking in Limbo and he's all alone at night he would walk and to himself he would talk and then laugh at himself the next day he said it's been so many times that I've made these words rhyme that I'm boring my self half to death now that I'm walking in Limbo he's walking in Limbo he can see heaven but he can't touch the gate and angel came down and said I'm afraid you must wait now he's walking in Limbo and he's all alone
3.
one of these days I’m gonna cross this water and man when I do you’d better be hiding your daughter or I’m gonna take her from you the old man laughed and said I don’t want her that’s the least of my fears but son remember once you’ve got her you’ve got to keep her there she swore that she’d be his for life but her words froze in the air and now they lie beneath the ice of the Lemon Fair she wouldn’t look up when he called to her girl ain’t your cheeks red she knew damn well how he saw through her so she just turned and said boy if you walked all the way down this river to the sea you’d still never find your way around to get to me he laughed again and said ain’t you heard I said I’m gonna walk across she just grinned and said oh my word my virtue’s cause is lost she swore … all spring long while the river ran with the melting snow and rain there by the water’s edge they’d stand and wish it’d freeze again when summer came the river slowed but still too deep and wide neither had a boat to row to get to the other side but when the leaves fell from the trees and they heard that cold wind hiss they both knew it soon would freeze and they’d finally kiss that kiss she swore … and then at last as smooth as glass that river froze to ice and he called if I don’t fall on my ass I can reach you know all right they both ran out on that frozen river to touch their hands at last she took the ring he held to give her and they held each other fast but as the old man from the bank smiled to see them meet where they stood the dark ice sank and broke beneath their feet she swore ...
4.
Rachel 04:09
Rachel give me water I'm dry as a bone Rachel give me water I'm dry as a bone I've been travelling and I feel so alone I love to watch your hair hanging over that well I love to watch your hair hanging over that well the way it makes me feel I could never tell if you will come with me I've been promised land if you will come with me I've been promised land where we could live together away from the wind and the sand I've been walking since this morning and my lips are chapped I've been walking since this morning and my lips are chapped let me drink from your hands and lay my head in your lap Rachel give me water to wet the tip of my tongue Rachel give me water to wet the tip of my tongue I'm so dry and you're so sweet and young I ain't no fool I've always been crafty and wise I ain't no fool I've always been crafty and wise but when I look at you Rachel I want to dip that cup in your eyes Rachel you've got palm trees waving in your hair Rachel you've got palm trees waving in your hair when I fall on my knees you keep off the sun and the glare sandstorms are blowing across the rocks and the dunes sandstorms are blowing across the rocks and the dunes but above it all Rachel your face shines clear like the moon the prophets are jabbering the Lord lay them all in a trance the prophets are jabbering the Lord lay them all in a trance they tell me the angels all sit down to watch when you dance Rachel give me water I'm dry as a bone Rachel give me water I'm dry as a bone I've been travelling and I feel so alone
5.
I should have know when you did not come to meet me at the train something had been changed it would not be the same again you used to blush when I would kiss you now you wear it so others will I can see it shining in your new blonde hair I can see right through that dress you wear Don’t you try to say that it ain’t so ‘cause you know you’re just not the girl I used to know before the war when your hair was brown I held your hand and that was more skin than you’d bear for any other man when we danced I thought your heels would pierce my feet you covered your mouth when you smiled to hide your teeth but I know those hands have now held more than fingers oh girl I need not linger ‘cause you can never tell me it ain’t so you’re just not the girl I used to know I thought I saw something in your eyes but now I see it was just reflection from my own when I went to fight you said that you would wait for me I kissed your picture every day for three long years and now I find what you’ve become I found out what and with whom you’ve done I can see the meaning in your glance I’ve seen that look in half the whores of France well maybe back there is where I ought to go who knows maybe there I’ll find a girl just like I used to know
6.
She: My dear, can you forgive me what I've done? For it is I who's laid you now so low. And it's time to finish now what I've begun and tell you what you never wished to know. He: My wife, O what can lie behind those words? Your voice has sent a chill through all my bones. Remember, when a man lies at the verge of death, some things he'd rather leave unknown. She: But there are also things that must be told, although the telling causes killing pain: life's heat must burn its fuel before the cold and heavy earth receives it back again. He: Know yourself forgiven and be still. No profit comes from stirring up old sins. Whatever you've done is done, and it is well. I care for what is now, not what has been. She: But it is not yet over, what I've done. And what I'm doing even as I speak. And I'll continue after you have gone, and all that I have gained I plan to keep. He: My wife, I cannot fathom what you mean, but there is nothing you could ever do, could make a difference after what has been, could ever change the love between us two. She: But that, my dear, is what I have to tell: my love for you died some time ago. I have a lover and, though it's to hell, I'll follow him wherever he may go. He: In God's name, stop! How can you be so cruel, to speak thus when you know I love you so? Though all the world may think that I'm a fool, such a thing I'd rather die than know. She: I know, my dear. I knew how you would pine, how losing me is worse than death for you. So I tonight put poison in your wine, and you'll be dead before the night is through. He: Then I forgive you all that you have done, and bless you. You have nothing to repent. For I couldn't ask that you could love me long, just so I don't live without you, I'm content.
7.
I don't want it anymore I've had enough I don't want you baby anymore maybe I'll call you when I get home but don't hold your breath 'cause there's nothing to be said you can keep your match your flame and your little powder nose you can keep your gasoline and your lighter fuel but don't talk about it to me I don't want to hear it no more just don't let me in and I'll leave again it's not that I don't want to help but I can't that we both know I'm through with the windswept heights I just want to dive down low just let me run into the night and bid you fond farewell you might see me again I used to be frustrated now I'm apathetic but I'm coming up from underground yes I'm coming up from underground though we're going through the backdoor to Nagasaki to me it's just another bird against the glass I woke up there was nothing to be proud of I just couldn't find a food I liked so leave me alone take the hook to the phone I'll be up the river though we're going through the backdoor to Nagasaki to me it's just another bird against the glass though we're going through the backdoor to Nagasaki to me it's just another bird against the glass
8.
when I was seventeen I'd never kissed a girl sleeping in a room of cold gray stone I put my hand against the wall between me and the world the chill seeped through my finger bones I picked up my guitar and sang into the night sad and low the door opened and I looked up to see my Black-eyed Susan come to me the snow was ankle-deep her feet were soaking wet she left her tracks across the concrete floor she let me kiss her once and then she laughed and said boy you'd better practice that some more my Black-eyed Susan took me by the hand and led me out into the snow we ran around till we were both soaked to the skin I never left her side again the first time I got paid I bought a twenty-dollar ring and asked her if she'd have half a man she put it on her finger as if I'd been a king and she the queen of some Egyptian land my Black-eyed Susan took my hand and never let it go and any day I know I'll die a happy man 'cause she loves me so we've been going on now close to twenty years I ain't never bought her one nice dress when I think of every time I've driven her to tears I can't bear to look at my own face my Black-eyed Susan takes my hand and looks up with her angel's smile she swears she never fancied any other man the good Lord sent her me so I would not be damned she makes me good for a while
9.
witch lady witch lady our daddy’s grown old we fear when he’s gon the farm will be sold my girls oh my girls you want him to live just watch what I do take the advice that I give witch lady witch lady what you doing with that old ram if you want supper we’ll get a tender young lamb just watch me just watch me you’ll see what I do the you’ll decide for yourselves what to do witch lady witch lady you cut up that old ram into so many pieces it looks like raspberry jam feed the fire feed the fire make the coals red and hot wait till you see what I’m cooking come out of the pot witch lady witch lady you put in an old ram but it came out of the pot a white fleecy young lamb oh daddy oh daddy come rest your old bones come close to the fire and lay them down on this stone oh sisters oh sisters quick sharpen the knife feed the fire feed the fire of our daddy’s life cut the pieces cut the pieces cut the pieces so fine the water is boiling and our faces do shine stir the broth stir the broth wit the long wooden spoon wait till daddy leaps out like a lamb born in June witch lady witch lady we’ve been stirring so long our arms are so tired have we done something wrong oh girls oh my girls you can stir till you’re old no matter how hot that fire your daddy’s stone cold your daddy sweet daddy he once done me wrong I tell you vengeance is sweet when it’s been cookin’ so long oh daddy oh daddy what have we done can we ever show our faces beneath the light of the sun
10.
Judas 05:20
I watched as you went through the crowd today today I saw as you went through the crowd today with your purple dragging on the ground and the thorns upon your head you tripped and staggered like a clown and now you call my name I hear you call my name I saw you bleed beneath your crown today today I watched you bleed beneath your crown today you could have stopped them with a sound you could have led the way but you forced us all to drag you down and now you call my name I hear you call my name you didn’t even try to stand today today you didn’t even try to stand today as the nails went through your hands I had to look away but I’ll always be the branded man and now you call my name I hear you call my name your favorite didn’t know your name today today your precious didn’t know your name today I heard them ask him when he came but he just couldn’t say I told you they were all the same and now you call my name I hear you call my name you could have led us to the heights today today you could have led us to the heights today but you just had to be the sacrifice and throw it all away you left us at the time to fight and now you call my name I hear you call my name my hands are splattered to the wrists today today my hands are blood-red to the wrists today do they really think I’ve done all this for a bag of silver change who was betrayed by that last kiss and now you call my name I hear you call my name but I’ll no more listen to your voice today today I’ll no more listen to your noise today I finally taste the bitter poison in what I hear you say you give me only one last choice now you call my name I hear you call my name
11.
across the schoolyard as a child I saw you first and knew just as I knew the leaves did fall that I’d love only you I went my way I knew the day would come the day when I would take your hand and lead you home as a youth my blood did heat I felt the day was near but couldn’t raise my hand to you my arm was numb with fear at last you slowly turned to me you took my hand and gave a smile and put me from your feet the leaves are falling the leaves are falling like your hair below then you walked away and I stood helpless in the rain I gave a cry and ran to you to grasp your hand again but you just kissed me on the cheek and left me once again you didn’t even speak so I knew my day was done my love would never be but still I loved you all alone and maybe you loved me you became his wife you were beautiful to see with child his child the child meant for me the leaves are falling the leaves are falling like your hair below the years did pass the leaves did fall and rested in your hair I never touched another woman and I never cared to the years did pass your hair did gray your beauty didn’t fade but always shined within your eyes and shined into the grave and now your rest beneath this stone your eyes will never shine nor from your empty lips will breath ever mix with mine I’m tired of this life my love body mind and soul and now the only light I knew lies lifeless here and cold the leaves are falling the leaves are falling like your hair below and so I’ll lie this tire body beside your cold gray stone and with my love at last no more sleep alone the leaves are falling the leaves are falling like your hair below
12.
don't you remember how we laughed when we danced don't you remember the way I kissed your hand do you remember how we acted like a couple of kids well I know that you don't because we never did don't you miss the good times that we never had don't it make you lonely don't it make you sad think of the memories we could inspire just look into my eyes and set my heart afire don't you remember the wish by the well don't you remember how I called you my elf all this never happened it could just make you cry or maybe it can't you're stronger than I don't you miss the good times ... there seems to be a romance everywhere that I look when I go to a movie when I open a book it just serves to remind me of what I can't recall the days of our love any time that you called wouldn't you like to remember the nights the unspoken words and the unsighted sights can't you imagine the look in our eyes when we fell in love and kissed in the moonlight don't you remember how we laughed when we danced don't you remember the way I kissed your hand do you remember how we acted like a couple of kids well I know that you don't because we never did don't you miss the good times ...
13.
Rest Easy 07:03
I never thought I’d see the day you’d walk by without a glance to me never thought I’d see you try to pass me by that way just as if you didn’t even see don’t you think I’ve got better things to do than sit and cry that you stopped loving me don’t you think I know other faces places I can go don’t you think I’ve got women I can see I know damn well you saw me there today so why couldn’t you lift your eyes to me just what was it made you turn your pretty face away what were you so scared that you might see what has made you so afraid of me rest yourself easy girl you’re free you don’t have to lock your doors to me just because you threw me out doesn’t mean you broke my heart it doesn’t matter any more to me I hear you’ve made me out as such a beast how when I drank what dreadful things I’d do yes you’ve become some hero from that mark upon your face they just can’t believe what you went through they say you pull your shades down tight at night afraid that every noise outside is me I guess I must have scared you when I said in that last fight that no living man would have you but me so you take all your lovers secretly rest yourself easy … I bet the men all treat you extra nice oh-so-gentle when they’re touching you but some night they’ll push deeper and they’ll find it cold as ice and you know then what any man will do and don’t you think that I’ll be saving you rest yourself easy ...
14.
the sun is coming soon but I still can't see any light just the moon that lies across my chest I have felt its rise and fall against my skin so tight tonight but when daylight comes you'll leave like all the rest and I'll be left here wondering just what I'm supposed to do while you're off fighting for a world of peace I just know that when you go I'll clutch on to you so tightly you'll be glad of the release I guess it's not like you had any choice at all but that don't make it easier to cope since you must rise when morning comes to chase that bugles call and I can only watch the night and hope maybe the day won't come maybe the day won't come maybe the day won't come and we can stay in bed if I were any younger I'd have thought this so romantic that you have to leave just as we fall in love but I can safely say I’m past that stage ‘cause now I just get frantic and if I can keep from being sick it’s quite enough but none of that seems real right now as I feel you breathe so cool upon the sweat upon my skin and looking down I see your silly grin maybe I should wake you but I don’t think I will I’m afraid it just my break this spell apart so long as you are sleeping I know you’re beside me still and I can whisper softly in my heart maybe the day … maybe I should write a letter that I could give to you to take so you’d have something you could keep ‘cause once you’re there God knows how long the mail takes to get through I might as well do something while you sleep and this way you’d have some idea what I’ll be like back here it'll all pass like a dream till you come home but then I won’t have anything to write about I fear ‘cause I don’t do nothing on my own I don’t dare to move you know I’m even breathing slow the slightest sound just might wake the light but then I feel so secure when I feel those breezes blow through the window from the safety of the night maybe the day … I wonder what it is about the night that feels so safe I guess it just hides what’s really there but I sometimes think that if we looked we just might find some place to hide beyond the reach of daylight’s stares ain’t it funny how that now I talk like it’s the sun that’s cruel as if it came just to lead them here to you maybe it’s good you’re sleeping so you won’t know what a fool you’ve gone and hitched yourself up to and you can’t look and tell me there’s no chance the sun won’t come I can see quite well that it’s as plain as day but if I stare into the dark until my mind goes numb it just might seem possible to say maybe the day ...

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released December 31, 2019

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